LET ME RESTORE YOUR GOOD FEELINGS TOWARD XMAS !!!

since i recently ruined xmas for some...
let me restore your good feelings,
not mine,
toward xmas.
:)~

i've mentionned before i couldn't care less about xmas,
nor do i enjoy winter at all,
but i do indulge in some decorations for the holidays,
simply to lessen the dullness of the weather
usually prevailing at this time of the year;
though this year,
november has been quite nice actually,
& it's too early to tell
what december will be like.
anyway,
i collect snowmen decorations,
& i got myself three more today,
at the HALLMARK store.
look at them,
all smiling.
even my kitty seems to approve of my choice.
:D~

i kept on shopping,
looking for a few items.
i first went to GAP,
hoping to find some casual things.
found some jeans
and i'm happy to say they're "33", not "34"!!!
and i can go commando without crushing anything...
i was also looking for a cardigan,
but i didn't care for the very few they had to offer.
so instead,
i got some socks,
(not seen here)
as you always need socks.
i still hate that menswear is on the 3rd floor.
getting up those stairs is killing my back...
and having to go back to the mainfloor to pay,
because they're too cheap to put a cashier on the 3rd floor, sucks,
as i had to wait in a line amidst ladies & babies...
not my thing really!!
:(~
off i went to THE BAY,
still looking for a cardigan.
i had a good one,
in black merino wool,
but my first cat, igraine,
had done quite a number on it,
leaving it full of holes & pulled threads...
ah, igraine!!
still miss you girl!!
so, the cardigan!!
i was looking for something in black, charcoal or indigo,
simple enough, right?!?
guess again!!
it seems like an impossible mission
for a middle aged gay guy to dress decently.
you either gotta dress like a 16 years-old twink,
with everything that entails...
nauseating colors, crazy patterns, cheap fabrics
& cut in a way that would be unflattering to a more mature body.
or,
they want you to dress like an old man
with upholstered baggy pants,
sagging clothes in the dullest colors,
ready to fade with the walls
of a retiring home...
my frustration must have shown,
as some people stared at me as they crossed my path.
must be the homicidal look in my eyes!!!
i don't do well with crowds anymore.
i feel awkward & crowded,
i can't stand anymore people brushing against me.
to think i used to go to raves along with thousands of people.
things change over time i guess.
either that or i've become an agoraphobe...
back to the cardigan!!
my choices were either a beige one,
in thin wool with appliques,
i don't do appliques...
or one woolish hoody
with long white fleecy fur inside.
i told you,
i either have to look geriatric or like a flaming queen!!!
G-rrrr!!!
who do i have to shoot/blow/bribe/whatever to get some decent clothes to buy?
i got the $$$!!
show me the stuff i want!!
so on i went on my quest,
getting desperate.
but i did manage to find a good bathrobe.
i like to be naked at home,
but there is a tv station across the street,
and i wouldn't want to be on the 6 o'clock news
for the wrong reasons...
you know?!?
so,
a good robe allows me to freeball,
while remaining decent to any peeping tom out there,
or any caller at my door.
except,
i always found them to be too cheap/flimsy or way too short,
ending like too high above the knees.
i was fortunate to find one that didn't feel yukky to the touch,
you know what i mean here, don't you?!?
with a masculine motif,
and that reaches to mid-calf.
wow!!
and it was on sale!!
re-wow!!!
but even at the full price,
i would have bought it.
so not everything was lost,
even if i went back home without a cardigan...
:)~
may i say something else?
is it just me or what?!?
i know i don't shop as much as i used to,
since i used to be a shop-a-holic,
like no kidding!!
but are stores merchandising their stuff to confuse the customers?
i find it's a big mess in there
and quite the hassle to select anything
without feeling this was only a compromise,
as you were probably standing 20 feet from the ideal choice,
but you never saw it,
overwhelmed by the mess...
none of it makes any sense!!!
i went home gladly,
leaving this nightmare behind me,
as this is a crazy world for a midlle-aged queer,
where nobody cares to cater to his needs.
i refuse to look ridiculously flamboyant
or boringly clad.
there should be something in the middle,
casual wear with flair.
makes me regret not going in the business,
as i thought i would when i was a teen.
but then,
i wasn't thinking of the middle aged people then either...
OY VEY!!!
is there any hope for me/us?!?
so,
i'm all cozied up in my new robe,
which carrie had to try on first...
with a glass of amarulla,
just one glass,
as i don't want to end up drunk,
for a change.
:D~
and i don't want to dream tonight of cardigans,
with zippers or snaps,
with hoodies & fur,
with crazy stripes,
and pockets stiched in appliques,
and other what-nots.
another example:
one that could have been nice,
if it had been in black wool instead of white...
but it had silver pipings on it...
and a zipper.
how about a good old fashion cardigan?!?
nothing wrong with that in my book.
man!!
i never thought i'd see the day when i'd say:
I HATE SHOPPING!!!
i need to get filthy rich and hire a personal shopper,
that's what i need.
:)~
HUGZ