Saturday, December 1, 2012

SEPIA SATURDAY (140)

would have us go on location, 
so, 
alright, 
I'll leave the city behind and go on location
circa 1960.


I'll start with a couple of vintage postcards found on the web, 
depicting a quaint little village called 
Le Bic



Here is a more recent view (2008). 
(source
It still looks quaint to me...


It is a village set in the Lower St Lawrence regions, 
with its national park, 
all part now of the city of Rimouski
I think I went there as a kid, 
for a couple of hours or so...


What I am sure of though 
is that it is where my parents had their honeymoon. 
Not too far from their hometown, 
it may have been convenient on some level, 
but as far as exotisme goes, 
you could do better. 
It does look nice though, 
to some degree... 
Was it romantic enough?!? 
Only my mom could say for sure 
and she died with her secret, 
though she was prone at telling lies to keep up appearances, 
so, 
not the most reliable witness, 
I daresay...


So here you have my connection to the prompt picture this week, 
a location, some water, people and a guard railing, 
which we call "garde-fou" in French, 
meaning it keeps the crazies inside... 
I guess it was enough to keep my father to keep from jumping 
and swimming away from this marriage... 
I must warn those who don't know me otherwise than through SS 
that I tend to be rather cynical about this marriage, 
even if it meant my coming into this world... 
This was done under false pretense to cover up my father's homosexuality 
and my mother's codependency... 
So you can imagine my position toward the institution of marriage, 
even if my father cried his undying love over my mother's death bed. 
What an hypocrite!! 
Enough said...



Please admire my mother's handy work with the camera here. 
Poor framing and unsteady hands... 
She never learned to use a camera properly, 
NEVER!! 
And it's not because she didn't try...




My father was better at it!!



I have presented these pictures before, 
the ones above and below, 
venturing a trip in the 1960s, 
but it is only when I compared these with my father's 
that I now realize they are from the same trip, 
their honeymoon.


I still can't believe my parents had relatives visiting 
while they were on their honeymoon. 
So NOT my idea of what a honeymoon should be... 

Is this the place where I was conceived?!? 
I did show up a few months later... 
My mom did confide it was a miracle that I happened at all. 
It says a lot for what the future had in store for her... 
Still, 
she made her choice and had to live with it, 
apparently... 
I wouldn't have and did encourage her to file for a divorce when I was in my twenties, 
to which she snapped back:
"We love each other!!!" 
Yeah, right...


I am sure there are plenty of people out there who truly had a lot more fun at Le Bic than they did 
and I am now sending you back to 
where fortunately, 
other contributors will have more interesting stories to tell about other places on this globe. 

Apologies to those who might be offended here, 
but I can only tell the truth, 
and I can only tell the history I know, 
even if I'd [sometimes] prefer to be more like my mother 
and embellish things to make them more bearable, 
but it is not in my nature. 
I'd rather see things the way they are and deal with them. 
I promise, 
next week will be less personal and a whole lot more fun 
as it pertains to Montreal
my hometown, 
and what I think I still do best. 
The material is all ready, 
only the writing remains to be done. 
See you all then, 
hopefully!! 
:)~ 
HUGZ

29 comments:

  1. No need for apologies. What would we do without your honest and interesting stories?
    Oh, but your poor mother. I really feel sorry for her. She seems like she was in so much denial. And to have visitors on their honeymoon!! Not a good sign at all.
    Nancy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Denial is right!! And she claimed to be a feminist in the '70s. I grew up watching the movement evolve and that is not the perception I have of what a feminist should be. Sure, she worked to earn her own money, but she had no self-respect, letting herself being treated this way. I have her letters she wrote to my father prior to their marriage, and I was appalled by her neediness and his obvious indifference.
      I presume visitors where a distraction from the lack of other activities that come naturally to other honeymooners... I do not envy her life, but I've come to understand her a bit over time. I was mad at her for a long time for the choices she made... She did only what she thought she could cope with.
      :/~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  2. Can't say you try to cover up things...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm known mostly for my bluntness and not sugar-coating anything...
      but I am also able of apologizing if I go too far...
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  3. What do you mean your mother wasn't good at taking pictures? She managed to cut off your father's head, didn't she? Freudian? I'm with Nancy - no apologies needed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps...
      She should have pulled a "lorena bobbit' on him,
      for all I care...
      Cutting his head off in a picture was too gentle.
      :D~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  4. Oh my dear TB I so love to read your work. I will just be your pretend grandmother and love you to death. I love honesty and insight of oneself above all. Sorry about the sadness but we all have a story.
    QMM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what vexes me as people tend to hide such stories...
      :/~
      HUGZ

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    2. BTW: as much as I'd like to still have a granny, even a make believe one,
      the age difference between us could make you at most a pretend mommy,
      or an older sister. But the suggestion of a granny triggers not so much memories
      as I rarely saw her, but an ideal of smells, home cook meals, and the real sunlight
      coming through the kitchen window bay.
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  5. Maybe your parents did love each other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then, we do not share the same notion of what love is...
      :/~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  6. I am sorry for the sorrow. All we can do is tell our stories the best we can.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine is not as glamorous and of historical meaning as yours, but it is the one I have.
      The one thing I'm glad is that I didn't perpetuate the patterns they set out for me.
      I've not inflicted pain upon others,
      and helped whenever I could.
      It stops with me!!
      :/~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  7. I don't know what to say. Sounds a sad existence for them both - if in different ways.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was sad, but only my father knew the lie he brought into the equation...
      He managed to cause pain to all, including himself. Representative of his era,
      when gays were in the closet. I know he was glad for me things eventually got better for gays,
      and that I wouldn't be ashamed of myself. I did come across a few liars of my own,
      but we soon parted ways. No way I'd live miserably like my mom did.
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  8. How sad for all three of you, but you've made sure that you broke the pattern :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed, this is my only consolation here. No more pain perpetuated from one generation to another.
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  9. Bruno, this was a great post! No matter the reasons and how it turned out, or that they had relatives along for the honeymoon; you documented their story well. Your Mom was lovely.

    Kathy M.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, she did pride herself on her appearance.
      I guess she thought it'd be enough...
      :/~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  10. I feel so sad reading this but I see why you needed to be so honest. It was a cover-up for sure, but perhaps they really did 'love each other'. Who are we to question this so much further down the line?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I heard that woman complain all of those years of the lack of sex and even affection.
      What kept her there was the fear of being alone, I presume, and the pseudo-shame of failure.
      She would rather keep up the pretense and be unhappy than being free with other possibilities
      possibly presenting themselves. But those are MY thoughts. She died with HERS.
      Pretty courageous of you to be reading this.
      Again, my sympathies for your loss...
      :/~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  11. I'm sorry for the heartache you and your parents went through. Sounds very painful and sad.

    But on a lighter note, the location of their honeymoon was very quaint and picturesque.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess it's fine if you go for that kind of thing.
      Being a true city guy, I would seek others cities if I were to travel.
      That place would be awfully too quiet for me.

      But hey, different strokes for different folks, eh?!?
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  12. A photograph is always just a single instance of time in two dimensions, but the story that accompanies it is usually much more complicated and always in that elusive 4th dimension. That's what makes your blog so interesting, a commitment to the full-truth story, ragged edges and all. A good post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ragged is right, much like the emotions at the time...
      Thanx 4 dropping by!!
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  13. Interesting that you still discover things, like the photos being from the same trip, or honeymoon. Not offended at all but then I've read lot of your posts. For a moment here I thought you were getting softer toward your Dad, I recall you have shared previously that he did cause pain all around. I think your Mom's actions at putting on a "happy face" and trying to make it better than it was rather than going solitary is so typical of that time, my own mother acted similarly putting up with her 2nd husband through his meanness and infidelities for too long until she finally divorced him, I was long gone from the home by then. Anyway you have weathered through, can share the truth of it all, and the Le Bic does seem to be a pretty isle, maybe there was some fun and a shade of happiness there in an odd way.... I am thinking you looked at the first pictures and the story came bubbling up...I think you have gained the perspective of years about their actions and that allows you to be who you are fully. No one just looking at the photos would begin to guess at the personalities there and their stories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can't tell a whole story from just pictures, and sometimes, it's just as well.
      What I know now is that he was suffering too. I'm not softening up. I'm just able to see what was.
      Doesn't mean I have found forgiveness [yet, if ever...]. He was fine at being a provider, but as a husband or a father, he failed, lamentably. Whatever kept them together hurt them all along.
      I'll never understand why and it is perhaps not for me to know. I know already more than I care to.
      And that's why some pics still push the right[?] buttons for me...
      You know?...
      :/~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  14. Yes, no need for apologies! Tell it like it is! That last paragraph is so timely for me...thanks! I was having some second thoughts about a family issue and this confirmed I did the right thing for me!! I can't pretend either that things are ALWAYS great and beautiful, they are not.

    I just read your latest post. I do hope you find some peace and health if need be and move forward. Good thoughts coming your way.
    Jim

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I saw you were involved in the selling of your father's house and came across a few things.
      That picture would be perfect for a Sepia post, you know...
      I hope you find answers in its regards.
      :)~

      As for me, I am really not in a good place right now as I've had to undertake something that pleases me not at all, but which proved necessary. I thought my health concerns were more than I could handle; but this new issue (money matters) is another aggravation I could have done without. So, yeah, feeling pretty empty right now in every possible way you can imagine.

      Therefore, the creativity and inspiration are gone for now and I may take a little hiatus until some things come back to an acceptable "normal". I don't know...

      But as far as you go, truth in my book is always the best policy. You know I have been rather blunt about certain issues here on this blog, and on other blogs of mine [now defunct]. Some might say that is dwelling on the pain; but I believe telling the truth is acknowledging and purging the poison that runs in our veins, and that the story may be helpful to others, as I know I am not the only one in this predicament. Having a gay father [and a pedophile too...] plus a mother living in perpetual denial was not a walk in the park, and my journey has been long and difficult. My financial difficulties are a consequence of having to take care of him despite myself from 2006 to 2011. Alcoholism was the only kind of oblivion I was capable of, which peaked in 2009, along with suicidal thoughts as well. I've tried to fix my problems, money and drinking, but a little too late, and I am now bankrupt... hence the emptiness, in the wallet, in the fridge, and in my soul... I went last Monday just for a consultation,
      but after nearly 2 hours, the guy brought out the papers and I signed them... That's it!! My [new] name is now tarnished by this, hardly something I would have wish for, but the funny thing is, (yeah, it's funny to me), I had $10 left in my bank account, so I had a choice: either a cheap bottle of wine or a pack of cigarette, to help me cope with the overwhelming emotions of the day. Nicotine won the battle!! There may be hope for me not to be dominated by the bottle anymore and to be able to drink socially without having to drink myself silly, on a daily basis. I need to rebuild myself, not from scratch as I can't deny my past life, but perhaps I could shed some baggage. Like most, I am a work-in-progress.

      Alright, I've gone on long enough here.
      Thanx 4 the support and I hope you also do what's right, for you!!
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete

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