Monday, December 31, 2012

TESTAMENT, or TESTIMONY? (365+/365 DAYS, V2.0)


2013? 
Heck I'll be there!!! 
Living in the shadow of a pedophile most of my life, 
scarred for life, 
battling suicide thoughts since forever... 
but more recently since 2006 when I found myself confronted to "the man"... 
I've been trying to shed the past and lead my own life, 
(hence the change in my legal name...), 
hoping to leave the bottle behind [eventually]... 
If 2012 proved to be a step in the right direction, 
it also meant stumbling and falling down flat on my face, 
(now facing bankruptcy...), 
but rather than giving up, 
I will face up to whatever is coming. 
If I thought I would be dead like 15-20 years ago, 
(looks like my sexual behavior didn't provide me with the slow suicide I was hoping for...), 
it seems Fate has decided otherwise. 
I may be alone right now, 
bereft of all my friends, 
either too far or too busy, 
but suicide is the last thing on my mind, 
even if I'm hurting right now, 
badly... 
Strange, 
how eager I felt to leave this world before, 
and now that things are really shitty, 
I'm willing to hang on... 
Human nature. 
One big mystery!! 
All I can say say right now is, 
You haven't seen the last of me yet!! 
:)~ 
HUGZ 



My life anthem, 
or so it would seem... 
I would find it rather ironic to die in 2013 
while I am now hoping to live on... 
:)~

11 comments:

  1. You are never bereft of friends; you have US!

    Peace to your heart from this night forward.

    Looking forward to getting to know you better in 2013.

    Love,

    Kat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Peace!!
      Now there's something I've needed my whole life.
      Rest in peace?
      Perhaps not yet...
      Funny as I'm usually so willing to just go.
      You might have the chance[?] to actually get to know me...
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  2. "Tout fini par s'arranger"
    Ça, c'est la phrase que ma mère me disait (et me dit toujours) et qui me faisait enrager, quand je ne feelais pas.

    "En vieillissant, on s’aperçoit que certaines choses ne sont pas si importantes que ça"
    Ça, c'est celle qu'elle me sort de plus en plus souvent (toujours dans mes moments noirs) et qui me fait lever les yeux, tout en sachant au fond qu'elle n'a pas tort...

    Peu importe le problème, la solution existe ; c'est à toi de décider si tu vas l'employer.

    Et c'est ce que je te souhaite de tout coeur pour 2013! Pour ta paix intérieure, ta sérénité, ton bonheur.

    Et le bonheur est vraiment dans les petites choses. Le sourire d'un lézard, par exemple (alors que c'est probablement une grimace d'horreur en me voyant lui sourire de si près...) ;¬)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cest que...euh... j'aimerais bien voir ce lezard horrifie...
      Traine ta camera, 'stie!!!

      Oui, j'ecouterai les conseils qu'on voudra bien me donner...
      quoique je devrai quand meme faire face a mes creanciers.
      Prospect peu rejouissant mais deja a mon agenda, le 15 janvier... 15 heures...
      Heureusement que c'est pas en 2015 pcq la, je croirais vraiment a un alignement planetaire...
      MA fin du monde, quoi!!
      Non, c'est pas la fin, peut-etre celle d'un cauchemar???
      M'enfin...
      ;)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  3. The start of a new year and attitude! You are a courageous fellow Bruno. To have survived what you have is testimony of what you are made. I have always been attracted to your 'art'....your photography shows a keen sense of awareness and beauty. An also a certain joy for living and being here to 'record' what is around you. You are very fortunate to have this gift. And I have been fortunate to 'learn' from you. Thanks and here's to an eventful 2013!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surviving all of this is tiresome. Some peace and quiet would be welcomed.
      But that's not how Life goes now, does it!?!
      I'll try keeping things upbeat here, for my sanity and your delight.
      Here's to inspiration!!
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  4. Well you know that I'm here as one of your friends too dear one! As I said before I am so darn happy you are here with us all....everyday we are that much closer to what some call the end...but I'm hoping for more days to go on and on, yes, even on my blue days, or down right rotten days, because I know I don't want to ever miss those most precious moments that we do get.... and still keep me posted on those "some day of getting a round up of blogger friends together! Happy whatever in 2013! The BEST is YET to come!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully you may be right and may there be enough goodness to spread around to everyone!!
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete
  5. Thinking of you and wishing you peace, quiet, health and happiness in 2013. Hugs :-) Jo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Merci Jo!!
      Best wishes to you and your loved ones for 2013!!
      :)~
      HUGZ

      Delete

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